i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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