Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
