she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
