we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
