Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
