Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
