I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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