I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
