i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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