She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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