Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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