this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It's blow job season.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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