I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
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