I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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