I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so let's talk penis.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
