His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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