Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
