Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
