Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize