Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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