i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize