You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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