i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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