my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
