let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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