i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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