Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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