I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
