I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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