Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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