I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
