Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
