koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
