By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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