Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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