the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
