So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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