We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize