Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
pray to the hookup gods
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
