idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
