just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
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the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
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I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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