yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
