I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
