I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize