She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize