he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
