Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
can u get pink eye on your cock?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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