I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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