are you so shy because you have an std?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize