I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
