Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
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Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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