Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
