sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
