plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
