she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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