you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
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