Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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