Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
